You have played, (I think) And broke the toys you were fondest of, And are a little tired now; Tired of things that break, and—Just tired. So am I.

I feel tremendously scattered at the moment.  And it's rather frustrating!  As the to-do list grows, so does my capacity to ignore it.  Life does always seem to happen, as Hemingway put it, "gradually and then suddenly," but I can't always summon the patience for the gradual. 

January has been lazy.  In a good way.  I needed it.  First semester feels like a haze of all-nighters and colds.  I let my health and well-being get away from me and it's high time to re-prioritize and re-center.  However, in my attempt to lay low and to take life slower, I've begun moving at the pace of molasses in Moscow.  Passivity creeps more and more into my everyday life and decision making.  Massive and exciting (even massively exciting) projects lie ahead.  But I glance hesitantly at them from across the room, too complacent and too nervous to walk over and introduce myself.  In short, I've missed the mark.

I'm okay with that.  Finding balance is a process.  I just need to get back on track within that ongoing process.  Too far to one end of the spectrum means it's time to shift back gently in the other direction.  Some burn-out precautions have been put in place (namely a reduced class and activities schedule), so I should feel safe to dive in and immerse myself in the opportunities at hand.  

Some inspiration:

Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life—the life you author from scratch on your own—begins. How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make? Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions? Will you follow dogma, or will you be original? Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure? Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions? Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize? Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love? Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling? When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless? Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder? Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

-Jeff Bezos

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

-Katherine Mansfield

 Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson